Helen Grant

Relationships are funny old things. What drives us to stay in a bad situation, on a merry go round, going round and round in circles, and never getting off? Relationships can be like a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs, but ultimately we have to get off. That doesn’t mean we have to end it, just that we have to get off or we keep spinning on the same loop forever!

Top tip, if you can’t get off the merry go round, you have two choices. You either change the relationship, or you stay miserable. Don’t bother trying to change him or her, change yourself, and your relationship will change. How do you begin? Stop doing what you’ve always done, and do something different!!

You can carry on jumping through hoops if you like, but the consequence will be attracting more of the same bullshit. Life is patient. If you don’t learn your lesson the first time, you’ll get the same lesson again and again, until you wake up!!

So if you’re stuck in a bad relationship, or you’re tired of drifting from one crap relationship to another, here’s what to do.

1. Analyse your past relationships. What was good about it? What was bad? How long did it last? How did you meet? How did it end? Are there similarities in the type of relationship and people you’ve been involved with?

2. Analyse your view of relationships. What was your parent’s relationship like? And your grandparent’s? What did their relationships teach you? Are there similarities in your relationships?

3. Write the words My Perfect Relationship at the top of a piece of paper. Now start brainstorming. Randomly wrie down anything that comes to mind associated with your idea of a perfect relationsip. What type of person is he or she? Are they funny? Outgoing? Good looking? Intelligent? What shared interests do you have? How often do you see each other? This exercise will train your unconscious mind to attract your ideal relationship.

4. Take the time to figure out who you are and what you want from life. Sometimes, for some reason, our relationships stop us doing the things we enjoy, things that are good for us. Make a list of the people and activities that are important to you. What are the things you want to do, be, and achieve? Are you taking steps to get there? If not why not? What people matter to you most? Write down their names. Then go through your phone. Delete any person who isn’t on your list. Clear the clutter to make way for somethng better!

Remember you are the person in charge of your life. There is no excuse for poor relationships. Dependency is for fools. Be your own person, do what you want to do, and make whatever sacrifices are necessary to fulfil your dreams.